Career Dilemma

Recently, I feel pretty weighed down emotionally... I din realize it until i was unable to slp at night, waking up every other hour and sitting stoning in the living room waiting for time to come to go to school. I actually start to dread gg to sch in the morning. I realized I was suffering from withrawal symptoms from school. I myself din noe when it started. I figured its when I had the bad misunderstanding with the VP. Some of u noe abt it, but I din write it in my blog cos i think its safer to talk verbally. Its the first time i had this kind of feeling. I din even feel this when I was having my attachment at IMH- Pelangi Village. I remembered even when my supervisor was observing me during my attachment there, I din feel so stressed up. Maybe the context was different. Back there, it was one on one, me and my client. In school now, its one on forty, me and my 40 students.

I must say my work load is still pretty light, but i think the observation and the relief classes are getting to me. Pretty soon, my VP will be observing me teach and I was told she is quite particular. Relief classes are generally ok, but they do wear me out. And I must say, I totally dread one class. Last fri, I had many many relief periods of that class and it really almost drove me nuts. I noe the kids were out to kill any relief teacher who set foot into their class. I could hear it in their conversation. I lilke cute innocent kids. But i find smart alecks and noe-it-alls too much for me. Their attitude is far from bearable.

I keep thinking these days whether I am really cut out for teaching. Not juz teaching itself, but the subject I am offered. I feel imcompetent in the subject that I am supposed to teach. I think I might feel a whole lot better if it were english or math. I keep missing Social work. Now, I gotta shout at the children in class when they are not listening. It is so not me. I duno why but i start thinking of going back to Social Work, like being a medical social worker or social worker at an orphanage.

U noe, I wonder if it is juz a passing phase or is it really time for me to change a career.

phototaking morning

was early in the morning when i woke up wanting to do some lesson prep for mon... den guess what? i ended up taking photos of my bunny... but cos its camera shy, its trembling and fidgetting away, so its rather hard to capture any nice shots... this is abt the best one i can take...

My Bunny!

Not this la... hehe... this is my favourite melody given to me by my dear...

What I am talking abt is a real rabbit that hops! Jastinian brought me to a pet shop today and bought me a cutesy little bunny. My bunny is fluffy and brown with soft white tones... Its only 1 mth old and palm size! Its a mix breed of a dwarf with another type of dwarf, but who cares cos the result is still a dwarf! I am so happy cos my childhood dream of having a fluffy lil' bunny for companion has come true! Come come visit my bunny when u all are free...

I am still thinking how to make my rabbit home more cosy... buy a nice cloth to put over the cage? buy some flowers to twine ard the cage metal bars? buy plastic toys for my bunny? ppl give ideas ok? right now i haven taken any photos of my bunny cos my digi cam is super lousy... and i oso haven given my bunny a name, but i keep calling it baby... haha... help me hor u all...

Falling sick

Yesterday after a 2hr ride in my mum's very very cold car, i caught a cold... a nasty cold that took effect immediately when i was already in the car. Today, my nose is running away from me... hai... this wk so many problems... but i cant afford to go on MC now cos i am taking more lessons to teach... guess i gotta bear with it... hai... feel so sick...

Touched but embarrassed

Today, my old ailment came up during assembly at sch. During the singing of the national anthem, i suddenly felt very very dizzy, my vision became very blurry by the second and i was breaking out in cold sweat. I knew i had to take a seat and rest, but we were in the middle of the national anthem and everyone was standing at attention in sch. Hence, i had no choice but to walk out of the hall by the side of the railing to avoid the sensational situation of a teacher fainting in the hall in front of all the students. i took a rest by the staircase beside the hall and slowly regained my vision and steadiness.

A teacher came to my aid at this point of time and helped me to the sick bay and got some feng1 you2 for me. My mentors and many other teachers all asked how i was. The sweetest was my students asked me how i was in class and all crowded ard me when they saw me after school and asked me if i was feeling better. But i felt a little embarrassed cos i am like so weak... even my students noticed i stepped away during the national anthem. hai....... i think i better be more conscientious and slp early from now on... otherwise it will really be very embarrassing to fall flat in school...

today being my most hectic day, with an unwanted addition of 2 relief periods, my dizzy spell turned into a nasty headache... but i still went on with my lessons. even after a 2 hr nap at home, i wasnt able to chase the headache away, so i went to see a doctor...

and the doctor was Soooooooooooooo inhumane! she measured my temperature and told me i haf a slight fever at 37.1 degrees. she also asked me if i was still having a headache at that time and i said yes, been having it the whole day.... BUT she juz gave me some medications and asked me to go... and when i asked if i need an MC, she said "no need"... this world is ridiculous... usually when i go to the doctor, is they wanna give me MC i dowan to take, but now when i am afraid i am still weak for the early morn the next day for sch, she refuse to give me an MC...

i hope i dun faint in sch tmr again... hai........

My bf is Hyun Bin #2

In the show, it looked so sweet and romantic. But in real life, it is so irritating... no wonder Kim sam soon in the show got so pissed off... My bf is another person who is so verbal deficit. Today he suddenly asked me if i am afraid of hamsters. The conversation went along and I thought he suddenly haf a new found love for little animals... so i tot... ok, thats a good start for someone who almost broke weiguo's doggie's leg when he attempted to drag the poor dog across the living room by dragging its 2 front legs. Then, i encouraged him to go ahead and buy the hamsters thinking it will make him a better man. Then, he said "but u will be the one keeping them"..... i was like....... huh????

So it turned out the hamsters are for me to keep so that i have something to keep me busy when he has no time for me... its really sweet of him actually..... but he could haf juz said it outright to make me happy... instead, he preferred to go ONE big round and make me think he was going to buy hamsters for himself... but really they were supposed to be for me and the main reason is to keep me accom when i am alone...

hai... who said having a hyun bin for a bf is good? u got to be REALLY analytical....

I love Wedding bells....

Today at church, my mum's cell group member booked me for helping her with the decoration of the church chapel on her wedding cos she on a tight budget, so cant call on professionals.... so we spent one afternoon today after church taking a look at the materials she has like roses, laces etc and take measurements in the chapel itself... wedding seems like full of white, roses, tulips, ribbons, satin etc etc....... but what really struck me was the tight budget they are working on... seems like because they dun haf enough money, they gotta really be careful with what they spend on.... even pretty things that are not very useful and are too costly, they have to do away with.... in the end, we will juz be doing up the aisles of the chapel, door handles and stairway railings with flowers thats all...

That's Singapore for u... even wedding cost a bomb... if no money and still wanna get married, its gonna be miserable cos gotta save on everything... even simple yet insignificant things like satin streamers cost a lot... so moral of the story: better make sure u are loaded before u get married... or ur fiancee is gonna be so disappointed...

secret readers all of u....

i was wondering... and wondering... how come nobody reads my blog judging from when the last tag came in... thats why my posts become more and more infrequent... but den i realized recently that actually u all been reading my posts secretly but nv tag!!! yikes!! talk to me!!! dun make me talk gibberish to myself!!!

BUT............. i noe who has been absent from my blog for all time....... since the day it was started, was never interested to take a second look... my dearest BF...................... lets test him here... if u got read, dear, pls tag... if not, i will confirm my suspicion of u not patronizing my blog... and den nx step... i will hound u....... punish u by talking to u nonstop until u drown in my saliva...... hiak hiak hiak *evil laughter* now, dun say i not fair to u, i juz dropped a hint to u in msn that i am blogging at this very minute ok... see u got heart a not.....

I am Kim Sam Soon #2

Recently been a hardcore "my lovely samsoon" fanatic... glued to my lappie 24/7 watching the romantic comedy... its been sometimes since i allow myself to be so silly and splurge on a set of vcds and sit there like a couch potato... but den again... thats the luxury of being a teacher, with endless holidays! ppl who haven watch the show before, pls go watch! u duno wat u are missing out!! The male lead is so shuai and seh... got quiet authority, but not to mention MCP la... haha... oh no... i am swooning... help............

Just now spent some quality time with Jastinian for once since the blue moon a long long time ago... I asked him what he liked about my character, and he said i very gao3 xiao4... -_-"'
suddenly i noe who i resemble le... kim sam soon.......

Bad nightmare

I was awoken 3 am in the morn by a horrifying dream... thanks to my bf telling me the details of his fren's breakup with his gf, I brought it to my dreams. In my own dream, I dreamt that my bf stopped msging me. I found it odd, so i went to his house and asked him what happened. He then told me that he is tired from the relationship and wants to stop. Hence in the dream, I stormed off in tears.

Sometimes dreams are so real that we wake up wondering if it really happened. So i woke up groggily rubbing my sleepy eyes, spanking my cloudy head and thought hard. I checked the msg from last night and phew... it was only juz a dream... I wonder how many of u had this sort of encounter before?