Career Dilemma

Recently, I feel pretty weighed down emotionally... I din realize it until i was unable to slp at night, waking up every other hour and sitting stoning in the living room waiting for time to come to go to school. I actually start to dread gg to sch in the morning. I realized I was suffering from withrawal symptoms from school. I myself din noe when it started. I figured its when I had the bad misunderstanding with the VP. Some of u noe abt it, but I din write it in my blog cos i think its safer to talk verbally. Its the first time i had this kind of feeling. I din even feel this when I was having my attachment at IMH- Pelangi Village. I remembered even when my supervisor was observing me during my attachment there, I din feel so stressed up. Maybe the context was different. Back there, it was one on one, me and my client. In school now, its one on forty, me and my 40 students.

I must say my work load is still pretty light, but i think the observation and the relief classes are getting to me. Pretty soon, my VP will be observing me teach and I was told she is quite particular. Relief classes are generally ok, but they do wear me out. And I must say, I totally dread one class. Last fri, I had many many relief periods of that class and it really almost drove me nuts. I noe the kids were out to kill any relief teacher who set foot into their class. I could hear it in their conversation. I lilke cute innocent kids. But i find smart alecks and noe-it-alls too much for me. Their attitude is far from bearable.

I keep thinking these days whether I am really cut out for teaching. Not juz teaching itself, but the subject I am offered. I feel imcompetent in the subject that I am supposed to teach. I think I might feel a whole lot better if it were english or math. I keep missing Social work. Now, I gotta shout at the children in class when they are not listening. It is so not me. I duno why but i start thinking of going back to Social Work, like being a medical social worker or social worker at an orphanage.

U noe, I wonder if it is juz a passing phase or is it really time for me to change a career.