Hat Versus Cap

I just realized today that hats can be as cool as caps!! So it turns out that hats are a lot more ex den caps. Bought my mum a hat today for xmas prezzie cos she complained that her work place is very sunny as it is near the seaside and she is getting freckles. AND she wanted a hat, which after chewy and me went ard orchard to find, realized that it cost btw $30-$60!!! Even my adidas cap doesnt cost that much! Take a look at the hat I bought for her... kawaii ne~ its from japan and looks quite simple and sweet. Reminds me of those japanese cartoon children.

And den, I itchy backside, go wear her hat and take photos. But the hat is soooooo cute! irresistable!!

My Heart is Painful

Maybe the rain came at the right time now. Wash away my tears together so I wont know whether I am crying or is it just the rain.

I remember u told me at the very start of the relationship when my mum din like u and I wanted to break up with me "dun cry... shall I come and find u now? if i dun see u i feel very sad..." It was 12am. U said that. It touched my heart.

Now, i wanted to break up. U told me to give it one last try. I said ok. But after that, there wasnt ONE sms to ease my feelings. 1.5 years haf passed. Things seemed to haf changed.

Why in every relationship things haf to come to this point? U said last night u wish u never haf to see me sad again. But straight after that, U made me even more sad den i initially was. Its not because of wat u haf done. but wat u haf not done. Why was there not even ONE sms?

But its ok. Thanks to an idiot last time, It has made me a lot stronger. I really want to thank him. Because of that hard break up years ago, now i haf learnt to take things in my stride. Everything is peanuts compared to what I haf been thru. When tears slide down ur cheeks in the train, nobody will sympathize with u. U are just a wierd girl who cries in the train. So why do i cry for people who do not love me enough to care whether i am crying my eyes and heart out for them?

...

I feel very blue. Very melancholic. Its that familiar feeling again. Feeling of at the crossroads again. Yet this time, I am very calm, very composed.

I am thinking of many things. Should things still continue? Should I let go? Can I live with this? Many many questions in my head. Am i overreacting? Or am I really not getting what I need?

What is a relationship that has no emotional intimacy? What is a relationship when one party is so damn scared of exposing himself emotionally? Just because 2 people hold hands and kiss goodbye should it be defined as they are in a relationship? Is that how it should be defined?

Give me courage. I think I need courage, a lot of courage to say certain things.

Sometimes I wish men never exist. Then there would be no men-women love. Then there will be no pain. Then it will never hurt.

Child-bearing is Scary

Today I went to the hospital to visit my cousin who juz delivered her baby yest... I was shocked at the difference in her... from a model-like and pretty air stewardess, she suddenly gained 20kg and looked bloated... i noe wat all of u are gonna say... "all pregnant ladies are bloated"... but thats not the pt... let me go on... and she went thru a caesarean because her baby wasnt ready to be naturally delivered...

so today she was like in constantly pain whenever her pain killer wore off... and i saw her cringe everytime the wave of pain hit her. She did not even carry her baby more den once as her tummy hurt everytime she carried him.

AND.......... whats the worst part of it all? I noticed that her husband was quite cold. I expected him to be sweet and nourishing, but he didnt. He even squabbled with her despite her pain... He was standing so far away, half the time outside the room. Like wat the hell??? His wife went thru all that pain to bear him a son and all he does is kiss his son and treats the wife like a baby-reproducing machine???


OK! Maybe behind the scenes he is loving and tender... but all I see is coldness and distance... maybe i am overreacting, but i feel injustified! Men should be the ones to try child- birth!!!!!!

Graduation pictures

2 super hiao posers....


Spectrum of colours.... but actually we look more like corpses...



The inseparable 4!! May our friendship blossom... now the four of us take graduation photos right? next time take photos with our babies!!



My bestest buddy and me upon graduation... hope we will remain unchanged even in the years to come...

16/01 Class Outing

Taken when we were walking! No NG, so quite good... and no, I wasn't leaning on him, its just parallex error...

Just for laughs!

Most adorable candid photo that ever existed...

Hippo Leong's fav photo...
Reason: because everyone's smiling so brightly...
But i think he is the only one smiling brightly cos his mouth is opened the biggest...



Big bully Hippo Leong in action!!! This is his favourite stance and he loves to attack the helpless...



3 nutcase trying to fantasize how the life of a hor sin (housefly) is like eating delifrance..... Biggest nutcase on the right....



Guess who are these 2 ppl? One is Whelan... I'm sure some of u know him... he is the bai ka guy... really is backside itchy... bai ka already still wanna come Sentosa and play beach volley... can run like a monkey, but later when his gf came, he acted so pitiful and look as if he limp until gonna cry... hoped for some TLC but kena cold shoulder... hahaha... The one without the crutches, guess who... from XMS one.........................

Bored to the max

I am sooooo bored... will someone pls rescue me from my boredom??? On MC today... been having this ticklish sensation in my throat for the past 2 days and last 2 nights been coughing in my sleep... so today decided to give school a miss cos I noe I will be torturing myself if i teach again... went to the doc early in the morn and he said that its vocal cords overuse, in other words, I shout too much and there is a strain on my vocal cords. He was pretty amused... i think too many teachers see him for the same problem...

So today I get a day off and tmr is my school's make up for deepavali... which was like donkey years ago... but sometimes i wonder to myself... wats the pt of having a holiday when there's no one to haf fun with???

I shall doodle with watever I can find at home and kill time till i go for dinner with my XMS girls tonight... meanwhile anyone sees this blog and is free come bug me... i will be more den happy...

Window to my Soul

My window to my soul is in danger...

been having hazy and blurred vision recently both with and without contact lens.... a trip to the optician juz now made my fears worse... today for the first time i experienced how it feels like to be "paralyzed with fear". After checking my degree and infection, the optician told me he suggest I go see a specialist. He say my blurred vision and haziness seemed like an internal problem and he suggested I go see a specialist ASAP... he mentioned the possibility of it being cataract or qing guang yan or retina weak muscle which all sounded alien and scary to me... suddenly I had the feeling of impending death...

Its Friday!!

Ooh... I love fridays... cos it means no more shouting, no more chaos, no more screaming and no more running kids...

I am just wondering to myself if I will get thyroids one day... many teachers get it and I feel the perpetual pain at the thyroid glands after a bad lesson... situation is worse after exams cos the kids are literally running loose...

Its peace and quietness on the wkends... sometimes I wish the wkends never end... and I only haf to work 3 days a wk... haha... fat hope though... but I oso quite sianz now on wkends too cos jastinian studying for exam... den i oso dun wanna bug him... which means boredom for me... hai... so if u all free ask me go out k... kill my boredom...

The Poor Kid

Today I relieved this p2 class and there is this boy who is in my special class EM3 class. According to my mentor, he is low IQ. Some backgrd info for u guys, he is this innocent looking boy whose parents bought him from China.

So I felt that he is a lovable little boy who obeys authority. With time, i came to hear about complaints from other students that he punches and bites them. i found it quite unbelievable at first... but today during relief of his class, I heard such complaints again... hence, my social work instincts set in...

i found out after a good talk with him that his parents beat him with a cane everyday and sometimes, they do not even explain where he went wrong. The poor kid is punished and beaten everyday because he doesnt know how to do his school work... Now i understand why he punches ppl without even telling others where they went wrong.. he learnt it all from his parents... the poor kid doesnt even noe how to express himself and he probably doesnt even know where he has gone wrong because this is how his parents brought him up too....

hai.... i hope my words made sense to him today...

SOrry For MIAing...

Hello peeps... welcome back... my blog site was suffering from some technical faults previously.. if u did try to access it, it prompted u for a password rite... it did the same to me and i gathered there was a problem with the tagboard...

i tried begging many ppl to help me figure out whats wrong, but in the end, nobody is free... so i decided to meddle ard and so there u go, a new tagboard at a super funny place... but tts better den nothing rite... so i cld haf missed some of ur tags previously... feel free to fill the tagboard up again...

Today, I flared up at my favourite beloved p2 class... one thing i really really regretted was being too friendly and nice to them in the beginning when i started out teaching... now they are crawling all over my head... not just that, they are peeing up there too... !!!! so today i decided to leash out my last resort at them, cold war. I told all of them to go back to their seats and i said not a single word but juz sit at the teacher's table and look at them till the bell went for school dismissal... I hated to punish anyone of them cos they are all so cute, so this is the only thing i can bear to do to them.

I realized I can control relief classes with time, but not my own p2 class that well... so potential teachers to be, if u are reading this, a piece of advice for all of u, put up a good show on the first day, otherwise, its game over...