Boring Saturdays from now on......

I duno if its a good thing that my Saturday nights are gonna be free. Experienced it for the first time today and it din feel that good. Perhaps today the weather is, cold, chilly and dark. Just the kind of weather you wish to spend with your loved one. But I know I cannot be selfisn and dominate a person such that he loses his personal life.

I think you guys don't understand a word I am blabbering here.

Ok, in short, every Saturday I meet jastinian from day to night. But now, he wants to cut it short as his basketball games are now on Saturday nights. That sounds kind of fine, cos that will give me some time to do my lesson plan before the week is over again. But I don't really like the idea of saying goodbye in the evening. It feels like the day is still so long and like I am missing out on time. Perhaps typical girl mindset. So yeah, u ppl out there reading this blog, u know who u can ask out on Saturday nights. I HATE LONELINESS. come find me.

Hilarious Christmas

Little Mermaid

Little Red Riding Hood

Tinkerbell

Snow White

U get what I mean...........

Of cos, the list goes on and on. But if I get stuck here all night posting pictures I won't be able to wake up for work tmr. So, sorry to those whose pictures do not appear in this blog. Its due to time contraint so I juz randomly picked some.

This is our gang Christmas party 2006. My mum came in and really dropped her jaw when she saw the result of our instant make over. I think she was thinking how come I got another Wati tidying my laptop, who so happens to be Ban ban - cinderella for the night with her holy feather duster. HP was in her sea shell boob attire, trying to tie up the hem of her skirt so she will look more like lil mermaid. Jaslyn changed into her little red riding hood cum santarina raincoat thingy. Jinyi was tinkerbell #2. Different versions of the same character

My mum thought we are WACKY. I think so too. *screams in horror*

There are so many pictures I wanna upload here for the visual effect, but somehow due to technical difficulties, my pictures go all the way to the top, messing up my text order. Perhaps a kind soul would like to enlighten me on how to make the pictures appear at the right place as I want it to.

Alright, back to the merry Christmas party. The dinner was quite yummy and cost saving. Though nothing fancy, just plain ol' pizza hut and KFC. (but actually I drool at the tot of KFC) But it was a filling dinner and quite cheap at that.

I must say I really like the theme this year round. I laughed till my teeth gonna drop. Never seen my frens and myself look so dorky b4. So girls, remember ya, next year we are going for Eastern theme. Sun Wu Kong, Chang Er, someone can be the yue bing (moon cake, you thought which ancient character right?) too.

Tootsie n Lootsie

Okok... here goes, introducing Tootsie, my longest and bestest pal!!! (Cos she told me she wanted the whole world to know she is the great Tootsie)

Short introduction of this person. One who I knew since Primary school, one who bite my hand, pinch my arms, beat me into a pulp until I tried to invent the "roll roll roll the boat gently down the stream" trick to stop her from beating my arms off my body.

15 years have passed being best friends with her, and I can only say one thing. We quarrel the roof down, we fight like nobody's business, but we love each other like nuts. I think its wat u call a love-hate relationship. But the love takes 99%, the hate is when she gets into her qian nian lao yao mode again. That "Im gonna pull her hair out of her skull" mode.

But fear not, as she will not harm the rest of the human specie, because it is only lootsie she is interested in.

Legend:
Tootsie = diana
Lootsie = Me

Just some thoughts.....

Today went back to school for a workshop. My mentor told me that one of our colleagues was diagnosed with leukemia. I was shocked. Leukemia, cancer, kidney failure and other terminal illness seems so far away, seems like an illness that others get, but never ppl ard us. Only when it strikes, do we start to think abt that illness and how long before it will take that life away.

I remember weeks ago I still saw him, smiling and joking, ever so friendly. Now, suddenly you are telling me that he has gotten leukemia. I start thinking to myself. Life is really short man. U never know when the person next to u is gonna leave u for good.

So... why get angry easily? (I am talking to myself as I think I am getting less and less tolerant with the ppl ard me). Why be unkind? (I am talking abt unkind souls out there, who know who they are, but unlikely to be anyone reading this blog, otherwise u wont be my fren). Why scheme for your best benefit at the expense of others? (I am talking abt I duno who. Never yet seen such a person before. Mostly from TV dramas only.)

Life is damn short. U never know when u are gonna lose the person next to u. It could be an accident, it could be a terminal illness, it could be anything. Better treasure the ppl ard u for as long as u live, cos u never know how long u really will live anyway. (This, I am telling myself)

Day At Diana's

The night spent at Diana's was wet... wet meaning the rain... its been raining the entire day... and night... but why am I using WAS? I am still here, right here in her room waiting for her to shit and bathe so that we can go out shopping.

AND she keeps admiring herself in the mirror.................... if it goes on like this I think I will be stuck here in her room for another night!!

Den now, she peels off another top because she think another piece looks better!!! See? this is why I am blogging at this time......

Yesterday's Xmas Carols

Its uber late today again. Just that some thoughts flowed thru my mind as me and CBLC frens came out of paragon after our Din Tai Feng dinner. There was this performance outside paragon. It was a unique combination of xmas carols and hand signs as choreagraph of the song. I smelt a strong Christmassy smell in the air. Xmas trees, shopping for pressies, costume parties, well wishes.

But the song that was performed but the hawaiian Christians struck me hard. What really is Christmas all abt? The song wasn't abt presents and xmas trees. It was abt Jesus's crucifixion on the cross for our sins. Suddenly, I remembered. It was a day Jesus was born. The very day he began his torture journey on earth for our sins. After watching "The Nativity Story" with Jastinian on my bday, I became clearer how it was like when Jesus was born. He was being hunted down even before his birth because being the Son of God, he is a threat to the king.

I looked at the expression of the performer as he performed with conviction, I remembered that my savior. After his performance, he stayed still for a while, with his hands raised, looking into the sky, i heard some ppl laugh. Perhaps they didn't know, he was silent for a while, praying and standing in awe of his savior, who is mine too.

Longest Birthday

Best photo of the era...
Underwater world became Vivo city.... punggol marine candle light dinner become sakae sushi... this is called murphy's law: shit happens!!

But still I am very touched that u bothered to plan the day for me. And knowing that u are more upset den me when everything went haywire, I am already contented and happy.
This is artistic pose taken by jastinian.

The guys

The four flowers - as Kok Keong always calls it... but den again... its only Kok Keong who calls us that...





Its been a long time since I blogged cos I have been having my birthday for an entire wk!! First of all, I wanna thank all my wonderful frens who celebrated my bday with me as well as those who msged me happy birthday. Thanks for being so sweet despite my forgetfulness in remembering birthday dates.

This is the complimentary log cake from din tai feng when we CBLC ppl went there to celebrate my bday. The rudolf is sooooooooo cute. I plucked it and the mushroom from the cake to play.

Lootsie, i will upload ur photos in the nx entry... its uber late now and my brain has closed shop for the day... tata

Batam reminiscence

Best pic taken, but sometimes I wish you can smile so that i Dun look like a smiling dummy.


This is the photo of someone who is contemplating suicide, with lots on his mind, sitting on the kampong fence thinking whether he shld end his life over a mosquito that juz bit his leg.


We look like villagers in some kampong. See that ah gong looking fan in the background?


Yikes!!! I got 2 boyfriends!!!


This picture is very dark, but its seldom we get to slow down our pace and really look at the sunset's reflection in the sea water. But of cos, its just me enjoying the sunset and the sea, and the other person busy slapping mosquitoes on his leg... The kelong has a nice ambience cos there are those little shelter-like kelong entension into the sea where u can haf your dinner in the sunset. But the problem is....... it stinks like nobody's business!!! Maybe there are dead fishes floating in the water.


When I was there at batam, it seemed boring. but once I am back, I miss the days there. There, all i do is eat, sleep, shit, eat, shit, sleep, shit, eat............................. and best of all, theres no one to bug u when u are rotting.

There seems to be danger everywhere and eyes are on us cos we look foreign. Or maybe its cos i am paranoid? Perhaps its also cos we are so uptight abt hidden dangers, we din get to enjoy as much as the previous time. However, it is a cheap getaway and the seafood and room service is damn heavenly. Lucky this time there was the Doha games. Cant believe we were shouting and jumping on the bed when Singapore's badminton player lost one match. Doha games and room service, its heavenly.

Rainbow After The Rain

I think I must thank the couple at the mac. They made my life change. I never had a proper valentine's day in 2006 I must say. I received beautiful purple roses, a pretty strawberry mousse cake. Everything seemed perfect. But I had with me an icy boyfriend.

But for the past wk, I have been having Valentine's Day everyday. Today, I heard "I love u" for the first time. Its been 1.5 years. But these 3 words were never said verbally. Today, I finally received them. I wished time can stand still now. I hope it will never ever die off to the days of the past again. Today, I haf with me a boyfriend. Not a BOY - friend. When I saw that my blogsite is the first address in the address bar, I almost felt like crying. I know things haf really changed because in the past, he cld not even remember my blog add.

In the past, I felt like a pebble. Now, I feel like a gem.

Its late, but better late den never.

I thank U for being reflective on the things I say. Thats the best trait U have. =)

Feeling Lightheaded

Wah I had my nightmare facing computer the entire day yesterday... was churning out the school extra worksheets for the first semester of 2007 for primary 4 chinese. It almost killed me!! All that typing and scanning and alignment. After a whole day of work, I was down with a headache. Since I din believe in medication, I refused to touch anything and when night came, the headache got so bad it felt as if someone was gong-ing my head with an enormous hammer.

After effects of the entire episode is dizziness in the morn as soon as i woke up after that. Hai.... Its even worse than churning out a report in school! This is horrendous... Wat school holidays?? *PUI*

Hat Versus Cap

I just realized today that hats can be as cool as caps!! So it turns out that hats are a lot more ex den caps. Bought my mum a hat today for xmas prezzie cos she complained that her work place is very sunny as it is near the seaside and she is getting freckles. AND she wanted a hat, which after chewy and me went ard orchard to find, realized that it cost btw $30-$60!!! Even my adidas cap doesnt cost that much! Take a look at the hat I bought for her... kawaii ne~ its from japan and looks quite simple and sweet. Reminds me of those japanese cartoon children.

And den, I itchy backside, go wear her hat and take photos. But the hat is soooooo cute! irresistable!!

My Heart is Painful

Maybe the rain came at the right time now. Wash away my tears together so I wont know whether I am crying or is it just the rain.

I remember u told me at the very start of the relationship when my mum din like u and I wanted to break up with me "dun cry... shall I come and find u now? if i dun see u i feel very sad..." It was 12am. U said that. It touched my heart.

Now, i wanted to break up. U told me to give it one last try. I said ok. But after that, there wasnt ONE sms to ease my feelings. 1.5 years haf passed. Things seemed to haf changed.

Why in every relationship things haf to come to this point? U said last night u wish u never haf to see me sad again. But straight after that, U made me even more sad den i initially was. Its not because of wat u haf done. but wat u haf not done. Why was there not even ONE sms?

But its ok. Thanks to an idiot last time, It has made me a lot stronger. I really want to thank him. Because of that hard break up years ago, now i haf learnt to take things in my stride. Everything is peanuts compared to what I haf been thru. When tears slide down ur cheeks in the train, nobody will sympathize with u. U are just a wierd girl who cries in the train. So why do i cry for people who do not love me enough to care whether i am crying my eyes and heart out for them?

...

I feel very blue. Very melancholic. Its that familiar feeling again. Feeling of at the crossroads again. Yet this time, I am very calm, very composed.

I am thinking of many things. Should things still continue? Should I let go? Can I live with this? Many many questions in my head. Am i overreacting? Or am I really not getting what I need?

What is a relationship that has no emotional intimacy? What is a relationship when one party is so damn scared of exposing himself emotionally? Just because 2 people hold hands and kiss goodbye should it be defined as they are in a relationship? Is that how it should be defined?

Give me courage. I think I need courage, a lot of courage to say certain things.

Sometimes I wish men never exist. Then there would be no men-women love. Then there will be no pain. Then it will never hurt.

Child-bearing is Scary

Today I went to the hospital to visit my cousin who juz delivered her baby yest... I was shocked at the difference in her... from a model-like and pretty air stewardess, she suddenly gained 20kg and looked bloated... i noe wat all of u are gonna say... "all pregnant ladies are bloated"... but thats not the pt... let me go on... and she went thru a caesarean because her baby wasnt ready to be naturally delivered...

so today she was like in constantly pain whenever her pain killer wore off... and i saw her cringe everytime the wave of pain hit her. She did not even carry her baby more den once as her tummy hurt everytime she carried him.

AND.......... whats the worst part of it all? I noticed that her husband was quite cold. I expected him to be sweet and nourishing, but he didnt. He even squabbled with her despite her pain... He was standing so far away, half the time outside the room. Like wat the hell??? His wife went thru all that pain to bear him a son and all he does is kiss his son and treats the wife like a baby-reproducing machine???


OK! Maybe behind the scenes he is loving and tender... but all I see is coldness and distance... maybe i am overreacting, but i feel injustified! Men should be the ones to try child- birth!!!!!!

Graduation pictures

2 super hiao posers....


Spectrum of colours.... but actually we look more like corpses...



The inseparable 4!! May our friendship blossom... now the four of us take graduation photos right? next time take photos with our babies!!



My bestest buddy and me upon graduation... hope we will remain unchanged even in the years to come...

16/01 Class Outing

Taken when we were walking! No NG, so quite good... and no, I wasn't leaning on him, its just parallex error...

Just for laughs!

Most adorable candid photo that ever existed...

Hippo Leong's fav photo...
Reason: because everyone's smiling so brightly...
But i think he is the only one smiling brightly cos his mouth is opened the biggest...



Big bully Hippo Leong in action!!! This is his favourite stance and he loves to attack the helpless...



3 nutcase trying to fantasize how the life of a hor sin (housefly) is like eating delifrance..... Biggest nutcase on the right....



Guess who are these 2 ppl? One is Whelan... I'm sure some of u know him... he is the bai ka guy... really is backside itchy... bai ka already still wanna come Sentosa and play beach volley... can run like a monkey, but later when his gf came, he acted so pitiful and look as if he limp until gonna cry... hoped for some TLC but kena cold shoulder... hahaha... The one without the crutches, guess who... from XMS one.........................

Bored to the max

I am sooooo bored... will someone pls rescue me from my boredom??? On MC today... been having this ticklish sensation in my throat for the past 2 days and last 2 nights been coughing in my sleep... so today decided to give school a miss cos I noe I will be torturing myself if i teach again... went to the doc early in the morn and he said that its vocal cords overuse, in other words, I shout too much and there is a strain on my vocal cords. He was pretty amused... i think too many teachers see him for the same problem...

So today I get a day off and tmr is my school's make up for deepavali... which was like donkey years ago... but sometimes i wonder to myself... wats the pt of having a holiday when there's no one to haf fun with???

I shall doodle with watever I can find at home and kill time till i go for dinner with my XMS girls tonight... meanwhile anyone sees this blog and is free come bug me... i will be more den happy...

Window to my Soul

My window to my soul is in danger...

been having hazy and blurred vision recently both with and without contact lens.... a trip to the optician juz now made my fears worse... today for the first time i experienced how it feels like to be "paralyzed with fear". After checking my degree and infection, the optician told me he suggest I go see a specialist. He say my blurred vision and haziness seemed like an internal problem and he suggested I go see a specialist ASAP... he mentioned the possibility of it being cataract or qing guang yan or retina weak muscle which all sounded alien and scary to me... suddenly I had the feeling of impending death...

Its Friday!!

Ooh... I love fridays... cos it means no more shouting, no more chaos, no more screaming and no more running kids...

I am just wondering to myself if I will get thyroids one day... many teachers get it and I feel the perpetual pain at the thyroid glands after a bad lesson... situation is worse after exams cos the kids are literally running loose...

Its peace and quietness on the wkends... sometimes I wish the wkends never end... and I only haf to work 3 days a wk... haha... fat hope though... but I oso quite sianz now on wkends too cos jastinian studying for exam... den i oso dun wanna bug him... which means boredom for me... hai... so if u all free ask me go out k... kill my boredom...

The Poor Kid

Today I relieved this p2 class and there is this boy who is in my special class EM3 class. According to my mentor, he is low IQ. Some backgrd info for u guys, he is this innocent looking boy whose parents bought him from China.

So I felt that he is a lovable little boy who obeys authority. With time, i came to hear about complaints from other students that he punches and bites them. i found it quite unbelievable at first... but today during relief of his class, I heard such complaints again... hence, my social work instincts set in...

i found out after a good talk with him that his parents beat him with a cane everyday and sometimes, they do not even explain where he went wrong. The poor kid is punished and beaten everyday because he doesnt know how to do his school work... Now i understand why he punches ppl without even telling others where they went wrong.. he learnt it all from his parents... the poor kid doesnt even noe how to express himself and he probably doesnt even know where he has gone wrong because this is how his parents brought him up too....

hai.... i hope my words made sense to him today...